Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Filling The Void - Full Moon Insight


A few years ago, back in 2006, on the night of the full moon, I was thinking of a past client of mine, whom I had done some healing work on, on an emotional level.  As I was gazing out the window, watching the beautiful full moon rise over the mountains in the clear Santa Fe night, I remembered how she had told me she had been sexually abused as a child by her stepbrother and had never received any treatment because her parents were afraid it would ruin the family.  It appeared that this abusive past lead to a current eating disorder she had.

Suddenly a door slammed - I jumped - my heart started pumping harder, and I mumbled a few words under my breath.  I tried to regain my composure by turning on the radio.  I ran through the stations to find a comfortable song. "All the same empty noise," I thought.  I wonder why I keep this crazy thing on so much of the time.  It's almost like I'm trying to fill a void somehow.

I looked toward the mountains again.  The moon was so bright and full that it illuminated the clouds sitting above the mountaintops.  I turned the radio off and began to be thankful for the majesty of nature.  I thought of the full moon ritual I had planned for later in the night.  A feeling of enormous debt filled my heart and soul.  I began to offer thanksgiving to Goddess Diana for the beauty that I was seeing outside the window.  I began to muse: "I wonder, my Goddess, why I have a yearning - almost a need - to fill every minute with music or books or something to satisfy the void.  Why does Sherrie (the previously mentioned client -names have been changed) seek to fill her void with food?  Why does Susan feel a need to fill her void with drugs, and why does Bert seek to fill his void with sex?  Why does there sometimes seem to be a giant hole in our lives, even when we want to do what's right?"

After these questions, thoughts and feelings filled my heart and soul.  The answer came in a peaceful awareness.  I had lived with Goddess Diana in the premortal existence.  In that realm I was filled with Her divine love for me as Her son.  When I came to Earth, I left Her presence, and a void was created.  I felt the void was placed in my heart for my earthly journey so I would seek Her again.  As I seek to know and love Diana, the void can be filled.

It was a soft and quiet answer - as quiet as the moonlit night. But it touched my soul, and tears began to well up in the corner of my eyes.

Now, as I work with clients on healing levels who are suffering from pain, loneliness, and addictions, I have reached a new awareness that they are all trying to fill their void in ways that can only tear them apart.  The void cannot be filled by external sources but must be filled from within...so beings a journey of true healing and recovery.

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